"Caaaaathryn.... CAAAAATHRYN, you know you looove walking around in wet socks and having your umbrella being blown inside out.... come outsiiiiiiide...."
No, no I don't love that. Which is frustrating because I really am wanting to go outside and enjoy the last few weeks I have here in London, but the weather kind of puts me in a bad mood and then I get all discouraged and instead find myself sitting in my pyjama's all day and debating how acceptable it would be to crack open of bottle of wine at 11am (conclusion: it's not, so I didn't, don't worry).
I'm definitely starting to notice how my mood has dropped in relation to my 'leaving date' approaching. It's a similar feeling I had in December, before I left to come here. It's a slight sinking feeling in my chest, and sense of disease that soon I'll have to pack up and be on the road again. I love travelling, and I feel torn in that I want to see new things/eventually see friends and family, but I don't like leaving this place behind. I've become accustomed to it.
I think my alcohol consumption is generally a pretty good gauge for how I'm feeling: if I'm feeling the need to have a few glasses of wine with dinner, then it's because I'm also feeling a tad despondent. On the flip side, the more I indulge these urges (and drink), the worse I feel. I wake up the next morning and have myself a total pity party because I got drunk instead of do something productive the night before. However, I like to think I'm self-aware enough to not let it become a regular thing - If I have some wine two nights in a row, I generally give myself the next few days off. I don't like the feeling of drinking too much over an extended period of time.
I tried to break this bad-mood streak earlier in the week when, on realising the weather forecast for that day was 'partly cloudy' (as opposed to 'if you're outfit is not entirely waterproof, then don't go outside'), I showered, put some pants on that were not of the pyjama variety and headed out. I did some simple things, like grab some nice vegan food from Camden Town, and then ventured down to White Cube to check out the current exhibition. It was nice, and reaffirming, to just walk along the streets, and be outside and looking around and taking things in. It's important for me to feel as if I am experiencing as much as I can. On the way home I spontaneously jumped off the tube at Hampstead and went for a stroll in Hampstead Heath, which was beautiful. It was all lush, green, and a little muddy thanks to the rain.
My focus for the next week will be to finish my collage, help out with preparing the studio spaces for assessment, and then get assessed myself. I also need to start cleaning my room, and decide what's coming with me to Europe, and what's being sent home. I've also got a list of things I want to see and revisit in London while I'm still here and it's pretty much exclusively a list of places to eat, and places to see art.
I also need to start seriously finishing off all the food I've got in my pantry. I've been trying to only purchase fresh produce for the past week or two, and using more of the staples that I still have. Nevertheless, I still have loads of quinoa, brown rice, and pasta. I love a good grain, but somehow I just don't think I'm going to be able to finish off what I have in time. I might just have to take what I have left with me, and hope that the Germans aren't too strict about smuggling copious amounts of food in your checked baggage. Maybe I'll get a chance at my 15 minutes of fame on 'Border Patrol - Deutschland'.
This next week will be reasonably busy, and it'll be important to remind myself to value the time I have here, and enjoy the things I get to do. It won't last long.
Also, because I can't stand the thought of a blog post without pictures (and because family member won't have seen this photo yet - sorry for the spam, facebook friends), here's one of me at the Harry Potter Studio Tour I did last week:
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